9 Best 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation' Quotes That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud

The Griswolds Have Spoken!

The 1989 classic film 'National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation' has become an iconic part of Christmas traditions for many families. A beloved part of the movie are the hilarious, and sometimes cringeworthy, quotes. Here are 9 of the best quotes from the Griswolds, and a few other characters, that will make you laugh out loud.

1. "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together."

This memorable quote is Clark Griswold's way of trying to pull his family together during their Christmas vacation. Clark is trying to keep everyone together, but his family is having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit.

2. "It's a little like 'Lassie'. Timmy's in the well. Let's get him out!"

This quote is Clark's attempt at trying to describe his family's predicament. They are in the middle of a snowstorm and are stuck in their house with no way to get out. Clark is trying to explain that they need to work together to get out of their situation.

3. "Oh, Eddie, you know darn well that I wouldn't miss your family Christmas for the world. Hey, if I didn't show up, it'd be like the Grinch not showing up on Whoville."

This quote is said by Cousin Eddie, the Griswolds' eccentric relative. He is trying to explain his rationale for showing up to the Griswold's Christmas gathering. He is likening himself to the Grinch, who would never miss Christmas in Whoville.

4. "I'm Clark W. Griswold. I'm an official representative of the Jelly of the Month Club."

This quote is Clark's way of introducing himself to the young children who were expecting Santa Claus. He is trying to be festive and jolly, but his attempts are met with confusion and disbelief.

5. "Merry Christmas. Shitter was full."

This is the infamous quote from Cousin Eddie that has become a classic. It is said when Clark is greeting his family as they arrive at his house for the Christmas festivities. It is a reminder that even in the midst of holiday cheer, there is still the reality of everyday life.

6. "It's a Christmas miracle!"

This is another classic quote from Clark Griswold that has become a part of Christmas tradition. It is said whenever a moment of joy or luck happens during the Griswold's holiday adventure. It is a reminder to cherish the moments of joy and luck during the Christmas season.

7. "Hey, if any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"

This is one of the most memorable and outrageous quotes from the movie. It is said by Clark when his holiday plans have gone awry and he is feeling overwhelmed. It is an expression of his frustration, and a reminder to not take life too seriously.

8. "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere? Leave you for dead?"

This is a classic quote from Clark's boss, Mr. Shirley, who is not a fan of the Griswold family. It is said when Clark is trying to make small talk with him at the office Christmas party. It is a reminder that not everyone is feeling the Christmas spirit.

9. "It's a wonderful life."

This is the last quote of the movie, and it is said by Clark as he looks out into the night sky. It is a reminder that even in the midst of chaos, there is still beauty and joy to be found. It is a reminder to cherish the moments of love and happiness during the Christmas season.