150+ Steven Wright Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud Comic from comicbookandbeyond.com

Steven Wright's Quotes - Wisdom from a Master of Wit

Steven Wright is a legendary stand-up comedian and actor, known for his clever one-liners and humorous observations. His style of comedy is truly unique, and his quotes are just as memorable. Here are some of the best quotes from Steven Wright, each one offering a little insight into the mind of this master of wit.

1. "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

This quote speaks to the idea that we often want more than we can reasonably handle. It's a reminder that sometimes we need to be content with what we have.

2. "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."

This quote is a tongue-in-cheek reminder that people remember you when you're in debt. It's also a reminder to stay on top of your finances.

3. "I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

This quote is a humorous way of reminding us that life is unpredictable. It's a reminder to make the most of every moment.

4. "I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."

This quote is an amusing reminder that sometimes our jobs can have unexpected challenges. It's a reminder to be prepared for the unexpected.

5. "If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?"

This quote is a funny reminder that some problems don't require complicated solutions. It's a reminder to think outside the box and consider all options.

6. "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

This quote speaks to the idea that life is often unpredictable and that sometimes the only thing you can do is roll with the punches. It's a reminder to stay flexible and adapt to change.

7. "I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it."

This quote is a reminder that life can often seem overwhelming and confusing. It's a reminder to take a step back and recognize that you're always exactly where you need to be.

8. "My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted."

This quote is a funny reminder that life is full of surprises. It's a reminder that sometimes the answer to our questions can come from unexpected places.

9. "I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."

This quote speaks to the idea that sometimes we don't get what we expect. It's a reminder to pay attention to the details and to not take things for granted. Steven Wright's quotes are full of wit and wisdom. They are reminders to stay flexible, pay attention to details, and think outside the box. We could all use a little Steven Wright in our lives.